Ministry of Truth

Having your stuff taken from you without your consent can be a confusing and tragic situation. Trying to search for it can be a whole lot worse. What I never realized about the hunt is just where you have to go to look. It’s bad enough some assholes have invaded your home, it’s even worse when you go to where they congregate. I had a look into just how disgusting that area is.

I spent a lot of time putting together lists of things I’d lost, along with serial numbers and contact information, to give to pawn shops and record stores that might have seen, or potentially could see my stolen stuff. My printer works as a copier so even though I have no computer at present, I could make copies of the list. That would have been true if it had any ink left, which it didn’t. I drew up  handful of pages by hand to match the first one and stuck them in my bag. Double checking all the windows, locks and drawing the blinds (which we seem to be doing whether or not we’re home or out) I left the apartment. The previous few days I noticed my increasing agitation with everyone on the street. I feel suspicious of all the people I pass and when someone goes by on a bike I have a sudden moment where I hold my breath and confirm that it’s not my beloved BMX. Every time it isn’t my bike, it isn’t my bag, it isn’t my headphones on that guy crossing the street. I’m becoming paranoid. The paranoia makes me feel a little better as if I’m prepared for anything and somehow one step ahead of others. The false sense of control is welcome amongst all the uncertainty lately and so I don’t fight it but do remind myself that it is false and all is up chance still.

I stop in at a few record shops and show my list of 40 records or so that I can remember being part of the bunch. At both locations the people working there sigh in desperation as they look at the list and realize how rare most of the records are. Both owners are very sympathetic but haven’t seen anything. They give me cards so I can forward more information to them as I get it. Next I visit a pawnshop. The first one is the nicest of them all but still sketchy. I don’t think it’s possible to have a pawn shop and have it not be sketchy. First off you give people small sums of money for expensive items. As far as I can tell there’s only a few people who will part with stuff under those circumstances. People who have stolen things, people who have drug problems or someone with small financial crisis that somehow can be solved by selling something expensive for a few pennies immediately. As I realized through the day, it also requires a certain type of person to run a place like that. Regardless the first two places I visited had nice people who were helpful and gave me some information to help me in my search, unfortunately neither had seen my items.

I walked further into the bowels of the city and became reacquainted with the poverty and drug problems that help put us on the map like highest rate of AIDS per capita in the world, some of the highest drug abuse rates per capita and also the highest homelessness. Part of the issue is the large economic stratification which leaves almost no middle class and helps to further make it difficult for people to come out of their horrible situations. Somehow studying and reading about that, knowing that, does nothing to help me feel better about my own situation. It does help to know that i’m not the first victim of such a situation but I don’t like the idea that it happens at all when we could easily deal with it.

Pawn shops love these areas because when you need crack or meth, you typically need it, right now! Pawn shops are willing to take your hot goods in exchange for enough to get your next hit or two. This is of course is the opposite of what the people working there say. They will tell you about all the stringent checks they do, how they don’t accept stolen stuff and don’t even take bikes or laptops because of that. Regardless of the store being full of bikes and laptops. They are all very huge people. I guess when you deal with criminals all the time you need to act like a criminal to or at least tougher than them so you can run that business. Some people were plain out liars. I watched a scrawny guy in a ball cap rocking back and forth on his feet like he was about to piss his pants waiting for the guy to accept a few golf clubs. The receiver unconvincingly stated he would help him out but normally only took  full bag of clubs in new condition. What a nice guy. Off ran cracky with his $10. Everyone looked at my list of items. Some people were disinterested and one guy laughed at me in a “go fuck yourself” kind of way and then with a giant grin (missing a few teeth I think) leaned in and said.. “boy.. they sure cleaned you out didn’t they now.” and laughed a bit more as he pretended to be helping me out and said he’d let me know if something showed up.

I think the point of lost hope was when one person was clearly lying although I’m not sure about what. He also used language to avoid stating whether or not he HAD seen the items but rather that he didn’t have them “right now”. He asked me a lot of questions and I could see the blood rushing to his head as he cross referenced it with the computer and started talking a lot quicker about how at first he was sure he didn’t have them, then pretty sure he didn’t have it.. then they never had any laptops like that in awhile.. then he asked the date and said he didn’t think he had any in a few days then was certain they weren’t there “right now” again.

So in all this there has to be a lesson right? What lesson could possibly be hidden in all this? I can accept the loss of items, I can accept that the police is disinterested in doing much for some student with no money, I can accept that there’s many problems that lead up to people stealing but I’m having a hard time with the structure under which this is all happening. This is all caused by the capitalist ideology which is constantly shoved down our throats. The police are only motivated to help the rich get their stuff back because the rich can make things worse for them. The problems that lead to stealing are products of poverty and the idea that in capitalism you can work your way up from anything. If you come from the street you can try to steal as much stuff as possible so you can make as much money as possible an become a rich successful person too. Isn’t that what capitalism teaches? That guy who makes it to the top as a criminal isn’t going to be welcomed into the same ranks as independently wealthy white men. He’s always going to be a guy from the street who doesn’t fit the same class as the rest. The alternative is working at Arby’s for the rest of your life and while is another product of this fucked up system, will never get you anywhere near the top of this magical scale. The pawnshops also fit under this guideline by taking advantage of people under the guise of “providing a service”. A service which is nearly criminal when you get right down to it.

– I came home and had a shower. I needed to wash off the layer of grime from being in that area of town, from being in that state of mind and from interacting with those types of people. It would make you think that people only look out for themselves and it made me feel that way. However I was exposed to a very high concentration of horrible people from a very small base. What followed was something that helped change my perspective on things. Someone sent me money. A good friend and solid human being helped me out and it blew me way. It brought me back down from my cloud of madness and helped put this all in perspective. More people are good than bad. People behaving badly is a truly complex problem and not solved through any one thing, but people being good can be brought out in the smalled gesture. It’s easier to be good than bad. I’ve always felt that way and will continue to feel that way. That doesn’t detract from how I feel about being burglarized but it does change my movement forward. What matters is school and not some toys I had. It’s really forced me to realize how much stuff I have amassed and what it really means. I am still the person I am even if I am sad to have lost a piece of jewelry with sentimental attachment and a laptop that allowed me to do my school work.

On Sunday, Mother’s Day, May 11th, I left work in a great mood. I had a great day at work and was only slightly disappointed that I hadn’t brought my gym bag with me. I was pumped and ready to go to the gym for a run and start the third week of my periodization cycle. However when I walked in the door everything changed. My roommate was standing the hallway with his friend and the look on their faces made my chest feel tight and I knew something was wrong. I had my cell phone off and in my bag all day so I didn’t get the message telling me we had been robbed.

Blood started pumping with an increased rate through my body and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears faintly and I turned only 95 degrees to see my laptop gone off my desk. My heart stopped and I ran into the living room. Fortunately the xbox, stereo and TV were still where they were left before I went to work. I moved quickly back to my room and felt like I was in a dream as my mind dulled with the stress of all the input bombarding me. I knew my room wasn’t in shambles when I left but here it was now, only one conclusion, someone had intruded my personal space and upended boxes all over the floor. How many things were missing? I still don’t know that I have the answer to that but I started a running list that would grow over the next few days. Laptop — gone. Heart still racing I tried to make sense of everything and saw my gym gear laying on my bed. It was odd because I would never put shoes on my bed spread. The gym bag was gone and some assholes had dumped it out and used it to conceal my computer.

I turned to my roommate and asked him how this all had happened. Since I had been at work all day I had no idea what time this all occurred. He had gone out for lunch with his friend and after coming back a few hours later noticed the rooms in shambles. His window had been left open with the plastic safety pin down to keep the window from being opened beyond the 3 inches it allowed. The pin was no trouble for the thugs who tore off the screen and broke the plastic pin. They stole his drawing tablet, ipod and bag full of his dirty laundry. I was trying to be reasonable and calm so I could manage the situation. I looked into my room and there was stuff everywhere. I looked at the desk with the big empty spot where my laptop had been. Then I felt nauseous, I realized the ring my mother had given me when I moved was gone from the desk. I pawed through the piles of papers and mess on the floor and found most of the items I would have assumed stolen were still there, sunglasses, DVDs, video games and CDs. I saw my external backup sitting on the edge of my desk and felt some relief knowing I hadn’t lost everything. I saw another empty spot on the desk and strained to remember what was missing — digital camera. That triggered the next line of thought which was more depressing, all the photos I had taken since I’d moved to Victoria last year were gone. My pictures to New York – GONE. Pictures from my going away party in Winnipeg – GONE.

I walked back to the living room, I had to sit down and I didn’t want to be in my room anymore. That’s when I realized my bike was missing from the living room. I sat down and tried to hold on to my sanity while I figured out why anyone would do this. I explained it to myself in terms of socio-economic gaps, and then just plain moral concepts but nothing seemed to help the mounting rage inside me.

My roommate’s friend helped write down everything we could find missing. The police had been called and we were told to wait for them to show up. It had been over an hour at this point and we hadn’t heard anything. We weren’t expecting anything but it’s better to have a legal record than not in case you find something in a pawn shop. My roommate stepped out while I waited for the police. I phoned my parents and let them know what was going on. I answered the difficult and obvious questions about why I didn’t have renter’s insurance. Since 2000 I’ve had insurance but for some reason unknown  to even myself, I had not applied for any when I moved to Victoria. I couldn’t go back in time and fix that so I figured worrying about what wasn’t done needed to be left aside for now. I paced around my apartment with nothing to do but wait. It gave me time to realize I was missing a 25 pound bag of rare vinyl records and my expensive headphones.

My roommate returned and I needed to get out. Other than the fact that I felt like throwing up my adrenaline was through the roof. I stalked around outside for at least an hour going to all the sketchiest drug addict hang outs near by. I wanted to see someone on my bike so I could beat them to a bloody pulp. The idea of people cutting off the hands of thieves in other countries was seeming pretty good right about then. I checked dumpsters, behind buildings and anywhere I thought people might put things. I probably looked like a mad man and that’s how I felt.

While I was out the police showed up and talked with my roommate. There wasn’t much to do. They said someone forced the window pin and broke in, leaving a pair of shitty sunglasses in the process. I felt fortunate we didn’t lose more stuff but somehow this was still eclipsed by the idea that someone had my laptop. My private information, plans, calendar, photos, journal entries, you name it. Password protected but not invulnerable to everything. With any luck someone will just format the hard drive so they can use it instead of bothering to get to my stuff. I can’t see why that would be of any interest anyways and I don’t save passwords for anything important on there. I highly suggest backing up your data and changing your passwords often. You never know where things will disappear from.

The irony wasn’t lost on me when I realized that I spent several week reviewing and searching for the best bike lock, which I found and bought. Had I locked my bike in my own home I might still possibly have it. Had I used a security chain for my laptop and locked that to the desk I might still have that too. Although if we had bars on the windows we would likely not have had this happen either. I don’t want to feel like I live in a prison.

Loyola Hearn can kiss my ass. His position as a repeated jackass offender aggravates me terribly. For those not following what’s going on with the barbaric Canadian seal hunt, the fisheries department has now seized the Sea Shepherd’s ship Farley Mowat. The Shepherds were at the hunt to document the shit going down and the coast guard there hates that. Much like most conservative dipshits, the fisheries minister would love to protect financial endeavors over ethics and he’d love to take the stance that if protecting something important to him, like money, requires lying or cheating then that’s just business now isn’t it.

To keep this to the point, the coast guard rammed the Farley Mowat and then after it was all posted online by the Shepherds, freaked out and claimed the ramming was the other way around. Keep in mind this is right after these morons helping the sealers killed a few of their own through negligence and the media spotlight was on them. This was a good way to misdirect the public and keep them away from their incompetent behavior.

However that angers them even more so why not just roll down and arrest the Mowat’s captain. Which is what they did in a guerrilla takeover with guns and ship stealing. Keep in mind the Mowat hadn’t violated any laws. But what I don’t get in all this is why not charge them for ramming the coast guard vessel if that’s what really happened? That seems like a horrible offense if it was what happened. Sounds more like a couple of redneck animal murderers couldn’t handle someone documenting their every move. Why the requirement for secrecy? If everything is lawful and just then who cares who’s watching? This is too much like the cops who harass the good people who run the cop watch. I guess bullies will be bullies.

The ones who suffer are simply those who would never support a government’s horrid behavior in these circumstances. That’s because they don’t even know what’s going on. It’s being reported more and more but by seizing the Farley Mowat you effectively stop the recording of atrocious and potentially illegal behavior. It would be nice if for once these people who preach and preach and preach about how great their laws are, followed them themselves.  Seeing as this is all run by a man from a political party that  treats all non-straight-white-males as second class citizens, it’s really not surprising to see how they treat animals and fellow canadians who fall outside those guidelines.

In the end the Progressive Conservatives are maintaining their clusterfuck style governing and we need to have that changed real soon before things get worse. Oh, and fuck Loyola Hearn.

I’ve been sitting here slack jawed for about 3 minutes now processing this really weird article from CTV news. I read as many comments as I could to get a general sense of what other people think about this. I have to start somewhere so I’ll address the comment about Drugs being made illegal because they are harmful. While that would be a nice fantasy world it isn’t exactly the case. Drugs are illegal because of several reasons. The obvious ones are to protect high society from the actions of people on drugs. It’s always easier when you have a reason to arrest, assault or haul away the lower rungs of society and drug possesssion, sales or abuse is a good way to do that.

Now let’s get to the issue at hand. Suing your drug dealer for selling you drugs and winning. What in the fuck is going on in this wacky world? This is where we are at. Who is this woman who sued her drug dealer and did she have brain damage before she took drugs? Was she in a wheelchair with a non-functional brain? I understand she was of sound mind so I guess that part is out. So then what part isn’t her fault? Can you sue the liquor vendor for your stupid ass alcohol poisoning? Hardly. More people are drinking extremely harmful alcohol than doing crystal meth and hey there MISTER DRUGS-ARE-ILLEGAL-BECAUSE-THEY-ARE-DANGEROUS why isn’t alcohol illegal? Or cigarettes for that matter?

Although those wouldn’t surprise me either if they happened due to this fucked up judicial system and all the monkeys running around throwing shit at each other making laws to protect us from everything. Did you know that just as many rich people do drugs as poor people? Rich people don’t tend to get arrested very often though. Or when they do they just get a free spa visit like that idiot Hilton. So it’s pretty clear at that point there’s two systems going on here. One for rich people who pay for the laws to be the way they are and don’t need to worry about doing anything. And another for people who aren’t super rich, one that ruins lives by arresting people for smoking harmless marijuana or trying to fucking restore appetite because they having god damn HIV.

No but go ahead. Sue your drug dealers. Feel better and play right into the circumstances you should as a lower class citizen. Dance Monkey, Dance.

Now some say Muhammed Parvez is a guilty man. “Guilty of what?” you may ask. Perhaps loving his family too much? Likely. Violent physical assault resulting in the death of his own infidel daughter? Also very likely. You see the Parvez family had an unruly teenage daughter who liked pop music, baseball caps and keeping it real. Now Chingy is about enough to drive anyone crazy, and I’m not sure Dem Jeans are appropriate attire for a Muslim Fundamentalist (I won’t even pretend to know under some comical premise). What I do know is a man beat his daughter to death for reasons surrounding things like: not wearing her Hijab, A magical head scarf that while protecting your hair and skin from harmful UV radiation (oddly enough created by god) also keeps you from entittilating men with your silky, smooth, sinful and manageable hair and head sides.

Being a teenager is hard enough these days, what with the internet and awkward boys calling you names in strange signs of affection, that you’d think some people would get a break. Unfortunately after a bit of research, I was surprised (but actually not surprised at all) to find out that disobeying your parents is grounds for deadly force in a few religions. I won’t tell you which ones because I don’t want to give them a bad name but they rhyme with Christian Hannity and Tiz Slam. Fortunately some people take the true law, religious teachings, into their own selfless hands and protect us from low-rise jeans and sexy aural cavities.

I just want to say: Thank you Religion. If you don’t promote the violent, senseless murder of innocent teenagers, who will.

The moronic issue of electrocuting people is under new debate. It would seem that it might prove harmful to have electricity passed through your body, new findings suggesting old information that high voltage currents are dangerous to humans, somehow is still the case!

The fascist police squads love their little so called “non-lethal” weapons but not it’s suggesting that it become reclassified as an impact weapon, suggesting it’s not as “safe” as pepper spray. Please remember that this is also from the same gang of thugs who carry around clubs to beat you to death if they so wish.

But why stop there! There’s a lot more to know about tasers, like the U.N. calling them torture devices. That’s right, officer friendly just may be as comfortable in your city streets as he would be at Guantanamo. Full of confidence yet? No? Well how about some of the other applications that are currently being developed, like the taser stun belt. It’s a device to control prisoners. Get in line or get electrocuted, I fucking love this world. Of course the “do-gooders” at Amnesty International are all over that claiming it’s inhumane to treat people that way but do we want all these criminals just running around with their bodies free of electricity?

And just so you know the US military isn’t missing out on all the fun they have commissioned Taser International to make a 300ft long range wireless electro-tacular projectile that can be fired out of a standard 12 guage shotgun. God bless America *wipes tear*.

And protesters and dissenters don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you. Back in the day you’d go to a peaceful protest and the storm troopers would just bludgeon your brains out and we’d call it a day and everyone would feel the sit in was a great success. Now they want to finger print and photograph everyone so no more leaving after your beating, get in the god damn truck! Unfortunately some people do not like to listen so they employ a baton with a shocker on the end which is pretty much an old school cattle prod. However people started feeling like they were being treated as cattle and we can’t have that so the easiest thing to do was put a flashlight in the in! Kinda neat isn’t it? It’s really just a bone-breaking flashlight.. but it could also shock you with 120,000 volts if it’s “necessary”.

Well that’s it for today kids, don’t forget to convert those old super soakers into zapping tools of mayhem because the military is doing it. I look forward to the future and all the new killing, hurting and maiming tools we come up with next!

In good health.

MEC decided to pull all containers using bpa off the shelves. This isn’t really surprising considering how much we hear about it. The strange thing is I can’t find any real evidence of real issues being recorded with using the stuff. The first time I even became aware of it was when I saw someone selling $25 SIGG bottles under the statement that plastic bottles were killing people. Am I the only one that feels like everything is killing everyone? Perhaps humans will just have to resolve their feelings about dying some day. After all isn’t it life that’s killing us?

Does this mean that there aren’t any risks? Of course not, but that doesn’t mean we should all freak out. People like Environmental Defense Canada have some information on their site. Unfortunately that doesn’t mean their claims are necessarily true. So plastics are no good for the environment and even if the health harm they do is negligible it’s good to ban production so we can move to more biodegradable products right? Err sure. Except if we start banning things under incorrect pretenses then we can easily fall prey to acting rashly without actual factual backing. A lot of people feel that cell phones are dangerous, what with their radio waves and invisible magic, but that doesn’t mean that those people are correct. It doesn’t even mean they are close to correct. Because while some of them have taken basic science they don’t understand how radio waves effect tissue but they are ready to market a ton of products to shield you from such things.

While I don’t want to listen to the woman behind me yacking on her cell phone while I try to read on the bus, I don’t think banning cell phones is a reasonable idea. I especially think it’s a horrible idea to ban them over concerns that show little backing. So while you shouldn’t ingest chemicals harmful to your bodies, try to maintain a level head about things while we figure out the true crisis. Just remember, you can go out and buy a $25 SIGG water bottle (which are very stylish and trendy anyways) but what will you do with your non-biodegradable plastic water bottle?

The Latimer probation hearing came and went without any remorse from the board. The funny thing is they dick around with someone’s freedom over their own personal moral judgments. You see when someone goes to jail and serves their sentence time and are good about it they let you out. Of course this requires that some ignoramuses review your current mindset and decide if you are still a threat to society.

Of course when you are locked up because of a social moral issue like euthanasia, you are being punished not because you are a threat to anyone but a threat to so called morality of society. Your arrest and punishment/imprisonment is meant as a deterrent to others that may follow your lead. So in cases like this one we have a human error of judgment preventing someone from leaving prison when they are no threat to society.

No one thinks that Latimer is going to go around murdering citizens, but we’re stuck with a bunch of backwards thinking religious people who are going to judge his parole on their own values and not on whether or not he’s a threat to anyone.

So what happens now? He stays in jail because he shows no remorse for his actions. Actions which are not in line with the morals of everyone but that isn’t suppose to be used as an indicator of someone’s danger. What a world to live in that allows one person with more power to take away your livelihood because they don’t agree with you on what your morals should be. Imagine if you couldn’t get parole because you didn’t believe in god? Would you just admit that you did to leave? Is that the kind of world this should be?

I happen to read a few articles today that bring the scary Terminator world to reality. If only we can keep the AI freaks away from those Quantum Mechanics idiots we’ll all be safe. The problem is Miles Dyson’s views that increased intelligent warfare will create a safe planet. Wait, which part is real now?

At any rate the US ARMY is now deploying robots equipped with guns. This is interesting and a topic of quite a few sci-fi books and movies. It never works out properly and always ends with total human destruction. If we tie this in with the current materials about time travel, we can see the potential to send robots back in time and kill Eddie Furlong and thereby stop the human race from ever really enjoying the second terminator movie.

I’ve been doing the social thing out here on the west coast for the past month and I have a few things that I need to get out. It concerns human interaction and the perceptions of coastal living.

It’s always said that the west coast is liberal, however there is a strong conservative, political but especially fiscally bias all over here. There might be more vegans, organic food supporters and new age garbage here but somehow it’s all a facade. Activism seems to be a big deal here right? Well it seems to me that it’s all bark and no bite. Not to mention a lot of things I hear are so incredibly baseless that no one can gain any traction with their arguments. This is, of course, regardless of any well intentions or reasonable goals. People don’t follow through.

This is all ok though. There’s nothing different about this place than any other place. It’s just that everyone seems to think they are the only ones playing in this circus of fools.

That covers the first part. The second complaint deals with social decency. I’ve been to two parties now and both times I’ve gotten this situation from more than one person where I try to introduce myself or join in a conversation and am completely snubbed. I’ve had at least one back turned to me while talking. I’ve had people pretend I didn’t say anything and walk right past me to talk to someone else. I’ve had people introduce everyone except myself. I’ve had people look me in the eye while I’m introducing myself and say nothing and turn away annoyed.

So it’s not exactly helping me feel welcome out here. I thought maybe it was just me at first but after talking to a handful of people from out of province this is quite common with new comers. The truth is though that I will remember who those people are and when it comes down to it, I have nothing to say to them in the future if they want to bridge a gap. For now i’ll stick with the small group of people who’ve been completely open and welcoming from day one here. Those are people who become true friends.